This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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