"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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