imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
