Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
