do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
