i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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