you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
