So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Are we still banned from the library?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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