I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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