So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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