The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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