Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
