he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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