You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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