I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
