i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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