Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
