ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
