i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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