Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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