Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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