let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize