So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i dont even know how to be here
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
