there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
