is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
