Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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