The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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