take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
