Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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