Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
