We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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