I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
