I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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