apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
