let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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