Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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