she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
