Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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