Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize