check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
