I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize