Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
