Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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