let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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