my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
false alarm. still invincible.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
