Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
