we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
