the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
