Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This house was built for laser tag.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
