just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize