next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
