I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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