its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
