youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They are going to name an STD after you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
