somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
