You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
